Ms. Hothead

I have a very hot temper. I can be downright ferocious. I've thrown, smashed, kicked, slapped, pushed, pulled, scratched, yelled, screamed, ripped, torn, shoved and tripped - all in the name of anger. :evil: Am I a Type A? I wouldn't go so far to label myself that, but I do know that when I get upset, it's not a pretty sight.
Looking back on my temperamental outbursts, I can't help but feel guilty and ashamed. There's something about anger. You get caught up in it; it's like alcohol, I guess, or any other kind of stimulant. You get drunk on it and do all sorts of crazy things you'd never do under normal circumstances. Like push a guy down the stairs. Or dump a whole cup of ice over his head. Or slap him. (And all this in the fifth grade).
Nothing I can do can erase what I've done, but I think I've learned and gotten calmer over the years. I wish I did have the chance to go back in time and undo what I did (maybe then I wouldn't have this scar from the sixth grade when I got into a fight and the guy stuck his nail into my arm and took out a centimeter of flesh), or somehow fix things, but of course, that's wishful thinking. What are you going to do? Tell someone, "Hey, I'm sorry I hung up on you in the middle of a sentence/called you names/hit you/(other atrocious act committed by me)"? The best I can do is to think and weight the consequences before I fly off the handle. That will help prevent any future regrets. Although, I do sincerely apologize to anyone I've hurt with my thoughtless anger. I hope they know that really, I'm not a bad person, deep down. I'm trying. Maybe it'll even get to the point where the label "Ms. Hothead" won't even apply to me anymore. (Though I'd settle for "Ms. Mean".) And maybe I ought to stop enjoying being cruel...:twisted:

Final thought: The one thing you can't get rid of by losing is your temper. Anger Management