Zero contact
01.17.09 (6:11 am) [edit]
Here's the thing with poisonous relationships of any kind. If you're going to burn bridges, make sure they're reduced to ashes. After all, if you're striking the match, you have good reason. Why leave any part of the structure standing? Torch it! I think I've said it before, but I'm an advocate of zero contact. That means if you've made up your mind to rid your life of someone, you have stay firm with that decision and clear them out of your life, no matter how sad or painful you might feel. Erase them from your phonebook, your email contacts, your Facebook, everywhere they've left a mark of some kind. Take down their pictures. Throw away or hide their gifts. It's okay to cry while you do this. It's okay to doubt yourself, but don't let any of that stop you from doing it. I think that's the only way to make a clean break. Otherwise, you're left with reminders. And you grow weak. And you forget how shoddily you were treated. You forget how horrible and insignificant and truly pathetic you were made to feel. If I could pull an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on myself, believe me, I would. Perhaps someday. Does this mean I'm not open to reconciliation? I'm a bit of a grudge-holder, but I take things on a case-by-case basis. If I judge the reconciliation attempt to be a good, solid effort...maybe, maybe, just maybe, I'd go back. Though I doubt it.
Final thought: Zero contact. Cold turkey for relationships.
Final thought: Zero contact. Cold turkey for relationships.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 01.16.09 (1:25 pm)
You are cut throat! It's probably time for me to get rid of some stuff, but a lot of it I just never look at or even think about!
posted by: alaskawildflowers (reply)
post date: 01.16.09 (2:15 pm)
I know it's really over when I can look at the gifts, or listen to the recorder, and I don't cry or get mad. Until then, do what you need to do to maintain your emotional equilibrium.
posted by: SupremeAnna (reply)
post date: 01.18.09 (7:05 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
I can't help looking sometimes, so I need to be a bit cutthroat.
posted by: SupremeAnna (reply)
post date: 01.18.09 (7:05 am)
Reply to: alaskawildflowers
So true! It's hard, but not impossible. I hope!