Embarrassment in front of eye candy

There must be a law of the universe that states that on the day that you feel cranky and fat, and wear the stripes to hammer home that fact, that you should run into two cute guys. Even when the rest of the freakin' year, you could throw six million rocks and not hit a-one. Today, I went over to Goldfinger's faculty to have lunch with him. Afterwards, we got ice cream cones and sat under a tree near the university co-op to finish them. He had to go before I finished my cone, so I said good-bye and headed back towards the library (my latest gig is working at the language institute's self-access center, which basically means I sit around typing out passages from textbooks or reading back copies of Seventeen). My cone was falling apart, so I decided to suck out the remaining ice cream from the base - and it's not as icky as it sounds, but no sooner had I ripped off the wax paper cover and started sucking merrily away, a bit of chocolate ice cream drizzling down my chin, than the hot teacher I used to TA for comes sauntering up. I almost choked. Not knowing what to do, I kinda smiled and said, "Hi." He gave me this funny look, but he said hi back and was on his merry way. How humiliating. But of course, the universe decided it wasn't enough to make me feel pathetic in front of one cute guy; no, no, why settle for one when you can be embarrassed by two? Was at Paragon today, in my fave book store, and noticed this amazingly good-looking guy browsing around. I mean, he was adorable and in a book store? Actually looking at books? Excuse me for the beat my heart skipped. I kinda shot him a few glances out of the corner of my eyes, but I'm not that forward kinda girl. So, I was sitting on the floor in front of the Memoirs shelves and turned to check the books behind me (was looking for the Sidney Sheldon memoir), and can you believe? He was actually looking in my direction! I was in such shock, I just turned quickly away and sank back to the ground. I quickly reassessed the situation and I swear, we made full-on eye contact. Of course, at that moment, my friend shows up, ready to have dinner before we head off to watch Paris, Je'taime (did I spell that right?). And of course, when I tell said friend the situation - "For God's sake, I think that guy was checking me out!" - said friend bursts my bubble entirely by saying, "He was probably just looking at something else." I was so humiliated. Because of course, why would any human being bother looking at me, in any capacity? And why, when in all my twenty-three years of never being checked out, could I possibly believe anyone would or could? The likeliest scenario? I just plain hallucinated it. And yes, at that moment I felt ten times more embarrassed than the incident with my ice cream and about eight billion pounds heavier. And ugly, really ugly, like face-even-a-mother-couldn 't-love ugly. And I'm not saying this for the sympathy vote, I'm just saying this because it's how I felt. After all, I'm living more realistically nowadays. This sort of thing is bound to happen, when non-reality collides with reality.

Final thought: Murphy's Law is alive and well and Anna is a law-abiding citizen.