Conspiracy Theory

Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is conspiring against me. Then again, it could just be my paranoid streak. Got it from my dad - my father is the Thai version of Mulder. He firmly believes that nothing is as it seems. There's always a catch, and it's this attitude I've adopted for my approach to life. I want to believe the best of people, but nine times out of ten, it's the bad that's the truth. I'm not a pessimist; I'm a realist. Okay, so it makes me a shade more negative than say, Silly-Smile-Sally, but hey, better safe than sorry. I've been hurt by - and hurt, to be honest - too many people to be all, "Yeah, okay, let's throw caution to the wind!" when entering any relationship. It's not that I believe people are fundamentally evil, it's just that we can't help ourselves. It's the rare person who's honest-to-goodness selfless and I certainly ain't one of them. I try to go with the flow, but there are just certain things that rub me the wrong way and when that happens, I go off faster than a match being struck. My temper is, for lack of a better word, cataclysmic. And I'm a pouter, boy, am I a pouter. And this week, I've been angry and sulky more times that even I think is healthy. Which comes back to my first thought: is the whole world conspiring against me? Academics-wise, things are easing up - not a whole lot, but enough for me to take a slight breather. Friendship and otherwise? God, it's near-biblical the plague of bad that's been buffetting me. What the heck?!? I swear, I'm this close to just going off to live in a nunnery.

Final thought: I got a lot of buttons; why do people always push the bad ones?