Fat, ugly and silly

I feel fat. Well, I am fat, but I feel fat and I usually don't feel fat. I mean, it's like your hair. You've lived with your hair forever; do you feel like your hair is heavy? I also feel ugly. Again, I am, but I usually don't pay too much attention to it. I feel myself slipping into a funk again. A work-induced funk. I miss Mr. Heartbreaker. It's completely irrational, but I think if I just heard his voice or saw him in the flesh, just for a few seconds... Ugh, but I know I shouldn't let my happiness hinge on external factors. Like, hello, aren't I reading up on motivation and how the best motivation is intrinsic? Talk about "physician, heal thyself". It's just that I miss him. I think about him and wonder if he's okay, wonder what he's doing. Silly, I know. Love is silly and so am I. I am also fat and ugly. Perfect trifecta of idiocy right there.

Final thought: No, all this negativity is not good for me, but I either b*tch and moan here or go out and hurt people. I choose the former.