Make 'em run for the hills
Have come to the conclusion that the fortune teller in Chiang Mai was correct; I am going to live the rest of my life single. Spinster, that's the word for it. I'm going to be a spinster. Shouldn't be too hard for me - I have three spinster aunts to act as my role models. There is something within me, something fundamental to my being, that makes guys run for the hills. I know I'm not easy to get along with. Heck, I bet it was easier to get along with Hitler than it is to get along with me sometimes. But isn't that slightly true of everyone? No one can be sushine and roses all of the time; I just happen to not be sunshine and roses most of the time. But I must be some kind of awful to be able to run people off in such record time. Prime example: CK. I didn't want to whine, I didn't want to fuss like some clueless teenage girl, but what the hey? He has simply disappeared. This morning, I deleted his number from my cell phone, because I didn't want it there as a constant reminder of my ability to spook even the nicest of guys. It's not like I thought it was going anywhere - in all likelihood, it wasn't. It was just nice to meet someone who I could talk to so easily, who I felt was on the same wavelength as me. It helped a lot that we were studying in the same program too, it helped open up a whole host of conversation topics. I'd make a joke about, oh, Suggestopedia or complementary distribution of phonemes or something, and he'd get it. I felt like we really connected. He listened to me and I loved that. Yet, it didn't last - whatever I did, I did it so well, I scared him off in less than a month. It was a shame too, coz he was exactly my type - intelligent, funny and an adorable pair of dimples you could put your pinkies in. Sigh. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm tired of guys and all their inadequacies. Who needs love? I'm good where I am. Doesn't mean I'm not open to it or anything, but knowing that eventually, I'll make them run for the hills...kinda wears a girl's confidence down. I've yet to meet anyone who can stand my brand of personality. So, I'll stay where I am. It's not such a bad place, Singlesville.
Final thought: Being single isn't so bad - I don't have to share anything!
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 05.13.06 (4:58 am)
I've accepted it too. When I bought my house at 28 - my father said "Why are you buying a house when you're not married?" My only rule is no more than 2 cats - then I'd become the crazy cat lady. Benefits of singlehood: closet space, you get the whole bed to yourself, no one snoring, farting or stealing covers. You get to decortate however YOU want and don't have to deal with any ugly guy crap.
On the otherhand, sleeping alone sucks and it's nice to have someone around.
Strive to be at a point where you are truly content with who you are, embrace the possibility that you'll find someone special if/when the time is right. (I mean, would you want to get married just to be unhappy and go thru a divorce and all that baggage?) I know so many of my married friends that got married because they felt pressured or thought that it was the next logical thing to do. And now, they are miserable. (Some are happy...)
So, bottom line, be happy with yourself -enjoy your freedom while you have it and remember my mantra "Embrace the possibility".
posted by: SupremeAnna (reply)
post date: 05.13.06 (7:26 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
Your mantra is something to consider. And all the points you made about being single, I agree with wholeheartedly. :)
posted by: kowalski (reply)
post date: 05.15.06 (12:27 am)
Things like that will only find you if you STOP looking for them. Or, as many famous people in the UK are doing these days, you can Cosmic Order companionship.
posted by: SupremeAnna (reply)
post date: 05.15.06 (4:47 am)
Reply to: kowalski
You're probably right. but i wouldn't mind trying cosmic ordering...is that like the home shopping network?
posted by: blueapple (reply)
post date: 05.15.06 (5:14 am)
true as wat scubadiva said-be happy wit ourselves
enjoy the FREEDOM tat we have
posted by: SupremeAnna (reply)
post date: 05.15.06 (5:53 am)
Reply to: blueapple
I like my freedom, yes. :)