In the Zone

Today was a pleasant enough day, even though I stayed up late last night reading The Rule of Four and was exhausted before class even began. It didn't help matters that today we were talking about curriculum development, and I don't have a background in curriculum theory, but see, the best thing was I was in a discussion group with CK. I loved the back and forth we had (well, in the group that is), about educational policy, about how ideology fits into curriculum planning, about what professionalism means. I felt out of my depth sometimes, but it was a nice feeling, like what I imagine Vygotsky meant when he conceived of the zone of proximal development. The zone of proximal development, or ZPD, in case you're unsure, is the metaphorical gap between what you're able to achieve competently on your own and what you're potentially capable of doing with more advanced peers to guide you. I was totally in the zone today, and I was glad CK was there to see it. Don't know if he agreed, but he smiled at me a lot. I'm still worried about boring him or showing myself for the fool I actually am (a daily fear), but it was a rush nonetheless. Think it could also be the effect of being in such close proximity to him. Did I mention how adorable he is? Coz he is. God, look at me, acting like an ineffectual teenage idiot. I have to keep repeating to myself, "It's nothing, it'll be over before you know it." But it's good while it's going on. In other news, I've only heard from one friend in the past five days, and that was a couple of emails from Kwan. I was ecstatic. I miss all my friends like...well, any old simile just won't cut it, so I'll just say it's winter in the forest of my friendships and there's no sign of the frost melting. I know they're all busy; that's fine. For instance, Goldfinger has started his pre-sessional courses at Chula, which horribly, are in the evening, so we have no chance to get together (and I'm sensing more and more that he doesn't, but that's a separate issue). My best friend is incommunicado, what with the nonfunctionality of her net connection. Sigh. I feel metaphorically (and literally, really, coz who do I hang out with anyway?) alone, and that would be okay, but at times like this, when I'm in the zone, I just feel like talking to people other than my family about it. Man, this is a drag to blog about. That's enough pouting for this entry.

Final thought: It's nothing, it'll be over before you know it. My mantra for this week.