Rated

Being the judgemental person I am, I utilize a series of rating scales for evaluating people. It's just my own system of shorthand - oh, he's a 7 or she's just lost five points. I think everyone evaluates stuff all the time - the weather, traffic conditions, their meals, other people's hair and outfits, the list goes on and on. I just like having a sort of system. Basically what I do is rate people on a scale of one to ten; there are two scales, one for personality and one for looks (yes, I can be superficial). One is low - you have the personality of a constipated yak or looks only a mother could possibly love. Ten is killer personality combined with total adorableness; I just add the two ratings together and that's the number I associate with someone. So, theoretically, someone could be a perfect twenty, but I have yet to meet him or her. Totally subjective, of course (I'm the only rater after all), not at all scientific. And sometimes I find myself assigning negative ratings, too, if I really feel someone's a lost case. Everyone also gets "behavior points"; they start off with one hundred and I add and subtract points according to my own internal system of "good" versus "bad" behavior. I guess it's terribly mean of me, but you know, I'm thinking other people are doing the exact same thing to me, but maybe not in such an organized way. The other day I was talking to a friend, and I just jokingly mentioned that they weren't terribly attractive. This was a joke. Although this friend would probably never land on the cover of a fashion magazine, they're reasonably good-looking. Can you believe that because of this one throwaway comment, they were sitting there contemplating their nose for the next ten minutes? Nothing I said could appease them, not even the fact that they'd landed a fourteen on my personal rating scale (seven for looks, seven for personality; not bad, if I do say so myself). It struck me because I used to be that way; I still am that way sometimes, but mostly with my mother. I used to let what people say about me affect me, especially what they thought about how I looked. People always think fat people can take a lot of abuse, because of their bulk, but I'll tell you, with your skin stretched so tight, you're really quite sensitive. Maybe that's why I developed the rating scales, as a sort of defense. Anyhow, I felt really bad for deflating my friend, and even though it was unintentional, I know how that can sting. I only hope they'll forgive me. They really are quite cute, but go into anymore details, and I'll start to sound sappy. I'm just going to dock fifty behavior points from my own score.

Final thought: It's a cliche, but the only way anyone can make you feel inferior is with your consent. I refuse to grant consent any longer.