I see soulmates...

To borrow a lyric from Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians, "I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know, if you know what I mean". My father is always telling me the wise person is the one who knows how little they actually know. I'm not sure how little I know, but I am constantly finding out. For instance, the subject of soulmates. Today, I read an article about it. Apparently, we have more than one, though they don't all exist at the same time and we also have twin-souls (people with the same half of one soul) or twin-flames (people who have the same soul, in different bodies). Personally, I think that soulmates exist, but not for everyone (and quite possibly, not for me). Maybe it's weird, but I can usually tell who is meant to be with whom. It's some kind of weird gift; not really a psychic thing, not that potent or accurate, but I'm correct more often than chance would predict. I have strong vibes when it comes to love - I can see who's meant to be together, who is attracted to whom, if someone is crushing on someone else. Perhaps it's because I myself have such bad luck in love - ever hear that phrase, "Those who can't do, teach"? I think coz I have no success in the love department, it makes me more attuned to it, and thus, able to see it clearly in others. It's crazy, but for some couples, I just know if they're gonna be together until they're pushing each other around in wheelchairs or whether they're going to be separated in six months. I see other people's soulmates, but haven't ever seen my own, how nuts is that? I envy people who've found their other half. I've actually met people who have found their soulmate, another person who complements them so perfectly, you kinda wonder how they ever managed to do without each other. Sigh. According to a Chiang Mai fortune teller, I have no other half. It seems that all the good fortune I have in the other areas of my life - family, friends, school - has effectively canceled out any chance for luck in love. I guess it makes sense; you can't have it good in everything. I'm not saying the other areas of my life are perfect, but I'm quite content with everything. Thais believe that the actions of our past lives affect the life we are living. I have two theories about my own past lives - either I was a complete jerk about love, or I had such a bad time with it, I swore it off. The first theory implies that my current horrible love life is due to karma, that I'm paying for past sins (maybe I hurt someone real bad in a past life, and I have to suffer the same indignity now). The implication of the second theory is that I'm getting exactly what I asked for, and thus invokes the saying, "Be careful what you wish for." I guess I'll never have any way of knowing, so I'll just have to go on winging it.

Final thought: A Very Short Song, Dorothy Parker
Once when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad -
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that was very bad.
Love is for unlucky folk.
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.