Too Tired for Charades
Still haven't shaken the feelings of negativity. Could also be due to the mood of the country - an inordinate amount of stupid protesters have gathered around Siam Paragon, crippling traffic and the economy of that area in order to force the Prime Minister to resign. It's a whole big political thing and I could care less - the beauty of democracy is you don't have to give a care. The bad part is people think they can mess around and make the traffic all screwed up and stuff. It sucks because that happens to be my main route! I'm feeling pretty low. Physically, I'm not at 100% - my sore throat is slightly better, but not by much; it's like a throbbing pain at the back of my throat. Mentally, I'm exhausted by all the thoughts and ideas generated by the David Nunan series of lectures. Psychologically, I'm drained. Since I've alienated everyone except for one person (and she's in China), I guess I'll have to take myself out. Or not. I think I'll just relax at home. I have to be somewhere I know that even if people don't always get me, they'll always love me, they'll always accept me. I'm tired of trying to decipher cues. I'm tired of wondering if someone's mad at me or if he/she will ever talk to me again or if I'm making a good impression. It's such a strain. Hate me. Love me. Don't give a care about me. I'm too exhausted to care at this point. I don't like charades, never been good at it. My psychic abilities are at a low ebb. I wish I could just yell out - if anyone wants to tell me anything, they should just hit me over the head with a big sign.
Final thought: Honesty is the best policy.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 03.29.06 (8:42 am)
I definitely agree that honesty is the best policy. The truth *always* comes out, so why not just be honest?
posted by: True (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:36 am)
We tend to spend so much of our lives caught in the thought of what others think about us and how they treat us. Life is so short and gone in the blink of an eye. I truly believe in living a life that is focused on enjoying every moment and making the best of every circumstance. People are going to be mean and do things to ruin it for you but what is it worth spending any second of a short life here on earth angry, bitter, or upset over what others choose to do with their own life? Live as if you have nothing to lose. Because in the end it is worth every moment of it.
posted by: Misguided (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:38 am)
Be yourself do not let others control u on how 2 feel...Yes honesty is the best policy its if u yourself can handle the out come of it all....
posted by: supremeanna (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:47 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
You're absolutely right. The truth lives.
posted by: supremeanna (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:49 am)
Reply to: True
I tend to agree with you, about doing your own thing, but sometime's it's so terribly hard, especially when the other person pouts or something and you care about them, even though they're manipulating you.
posted by: supremeanna (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:50 am)
Reply to: Misguided
I want to be myself, but what if I'm awful and no one can take it? I don't think I can live with the whole darn truth about me, though I try.
posted by: True (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (8:54 am)
Reply to: supremeanna
Babe, you can't allow anyone no matter influential or important to determine who you are, will be, and choose to live. It is completely okay to love someone and care for them, but their has to be boundries to every relationship. If this person is taking away your quality of life, you need to set some guidelines with them and enforce them. Tough love is still love. Sometimes you have to push the bird out of the nest and watch it fall a bit before it can fly. It is in THEIR best interest that you do this. If you really care about them, you will. Trust me it will help them in the end.
posted by: verucassalty (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (9:51 am)
when we are depressed - we have a very skewed view of the world around us. everything seems a bit harsher.. we pick up on the smallest cues and assume the most negative of outcomes..
ive sooo been there and back. heal yourself and life will look so much different