Closer to the Truth

I'm not going to complain again about how I didn't study, because I didn't. I was horribly tired this morning, stayed up till way past one in the morning talking to Goldfinger. Thank God my kid called in sick; I don't think I could've taught today. So, sat around eating popcorn and watching the DVDs Sittha lent me - Closer and Lost in Translation. The latter, I didn't particularly care for, not really my cup of tea; the movie was a collection of not-even-mildly interested tableaus of people who are completely puzzled as to why Japanese people don't speak English. Closer was okay, but again, not really my cup of tea - the box said it was a "love story for adults", so I guess I am either a) really a dunce when it comes to love, b) not really an adult or c) someone who knows that some guy was sitting around, three in the morning, desperately trying to think of something to write on the DVD box and thought, "Hey, a love story...but for adults. That's mildly clever. It'll work." Apparently, that latter thought it also the impetus behind this movie. Maybe because its origins are from a play, but even though the movie didn't work for me, there were some awesomely quotable lines. Those are what kept me watching, along with the fact that Sittha assured me that Natalie Portman totally ditches her wholesome good-girl image and boy, did she, in a big way. She looked fabulous, but I suppose 99% of her fabulousness was lost on me coz I'm a girl. Anyhow, there were some truly great lines from the film, and I'll just list some of them here and well, since everything arty that touches you does so because it touches some personal aspect of yourself, I'll detail briefly why I like it. It's nice that Sittha lent the movies to me, then, because this one at least, got to me in some moments, really got to me and I like that.

"Don't say it. Don't you fucking say 'You're too good for me.' I am, but don't say it. You're making the mistake of your life. You're leaving me because you believe that you don't deserve happiness, but you do, Anna." Okay, so I just like hearing my name, all right? Also because, he said exactly what I wanted to say, exactly how felt when I knew I had to leave, when I knew that the love of my life was too dumb to realize how much I loved him and how much I sacrificed for him. I wanted to say this exact thing to him, but I wasn't as clever as this playwright/screenwriter, so I just threw a hissy fit and let him think I was an insane child.

"I know who you are. I love you. I love everything about you that hurts." Beautiful, and again, why didn't I think to say this? I know I felt it, I know that's what I wanted to express, but again, not so much with the heartbreaking prose.

"No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?" I've said this actually, or a variation of it, really. I didn't get a decent answer either. And I didn't say calmly either, I sort of screamed it, cried it. I pathetic saying it and I felt pathetic afterwards. In a perfect world, love would be enough, and more specifically, your love would be enough, but we don't live in a perfect world.

"How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?" How can men, in general, be so disappointing?

Final thought: "You'd be my whore. And in return I will pay you with your liberty." Once you're his whore (literally or otherwise), you'll never be free again.