The Blue Shoe
We're teaching narrative right now, so of course, my classes are flooded with stories and fables and whatnot. The ajarn in the office across from my mine was telling us that one of her students (yes, teachers talk about their students. Gossip is rampant no matter the occupation) retold a story from the internet called The Blue Shoe. It sounded fascinating, so I looked it up. It's written by Peter Reynolds and tells the story of a single blue shoe (the illustration shoes it's a nice little blue high heel, and the story calls it "she") searching for her sole-mate (clever, eh?), and in the process, meets all sorts of footwear - none of which are blue shoes. For instance, she meets a green boot; "He was very kind to the Blue Shoe.... but he was not a blue shoe." Well, that kind of deep revelation set the story apart from the average children's tale, so I was compelled to read on. I was not disappointed. Not to give away the ending, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable story and I'd gladly recommend it to anyone as a reflection of what it's really like to look for love in the modern world. Don't be fooled by its simple language and the rhyme scheme. Hemingway wrote just like that (sans rhyme), and well...Hemingway. No other explanation for it.
To read, go to <;http://www.fablevision.com/pl...;
Final thought: I am the Blue Shoe; what about you?
My beloved
The horrible has happened, a minor tragedy if I do say so myself. The zipper on my beloved green Jansport backpack was starting to act wonky, as old zippers are wont to do, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to repair it. And by "repair", I mean I smashed at it with a hammer. Before you start to question my sanity, let me report that this operation was a success. The zipper was back to its wonderful, working self. Then I noticed that part of it was slightly unaligned. On a high from my Miss Fix-it accomplishment, I proceeded to attack it again with my new best friend, the hammer. This time - crisis! It jammed and I couldn't pull it more than a few millimeters. I finally had to ask my dad for help and he told me to give it up. Well, at that point, I almost cried. You have to understand - I love this backpack. It's been with me since high school, and since I now teach kids fresh out of high school, that's a long time to hold onto something. I take it everywhere (including once to a nightclub where a bouncer promptly frisked it. Like anyone would be carting around explosives in a Jansport!). I suppose I'm getting to an age where backpacks aren't appropriate anymore, but...phooey. It's not a crime. Plus, it gets the job done, which is more than I can say for a lot of the carrying options available. But most of all - it's practically a part of me. You know, like Donald Trump with his combover or Mona Lisa and her inscrutable smile. More and more, I realize that things are changing and changing and changing, and I have to tell you, I'm not coping all that well. Never did like change, but this year, it's all about change. I'm full-gear into my job. I'm graduating from grad school in less than a month. People are quitting left and right all around me so I'm gonna have to make new friends. I've made some big decisions which have really made an impact on my life. Don't even let me get started on matters regarding the opposite sex. It feels like my life has been dumped into a blender on high. And I'm dizzy. So sue me for holding onto the little things. The little things keep me sane.
Final thought: God, help us keep the little things in focus.
Clairvoyance Annoyance
Ever wonder how close the image people have of you in their mind and your true, actual self (as you perceive yourself) correspond? I've observed more and more that people have fixed preconceptions of your behavior - of how you should react, how you should respond, what things you will say - in any particular situation. To put it succintly, they see you as an actor with predetermined dialogue and blocking. Well, guess what? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling like I'm completely unoriginal, that I've turned into one of those annoying people you duck and run from when you see them rounding the corner because you know they're gonna regale you again with some boring anecdote or something equally obnoxious. I'm not perfect. Heck, I'm so far from perfect, I'm practically a chick-lit cliche, but for God's sake, I'm a human being, not an archetype. Stop treating me like you know everything about me, I wanna yell; stop treating me like you already have all my moves figured out. It's not clever. It's not nice. It's presumptive. Not to mention, highly insulting. You don't know everything there is to know about me - even in the closest of relationships, there's that secret 10% you gotta keep to yourself to hold onto your sanity. Just because you assume something, that does not make it true. Just because you think you've got my endgame mapped out, does not mean I will ever invoke that endgame, or any game for that matter. I have the right not to be treated like a cardboard cut-out of myself. I'd afford anyone the same respect.
Final thought: I just might surprise you.
Love Supernatural, like Facebook
You know, I don't even like Facebook, but it seems like I'm over there all the time. Probably because it loads faster than the CW forums when I need my Supernatural discussion fix. I can't tell you what a Godsend it is to have other likeminded people obsessing over your fixation. Hmmm, wait that sounds oddly like two drunks going out and getting plastered...that's not good. But this is, I assure you. Keeps me more or less sane. Life has been pretty hectic. I now teach fourteen hours a week, which may not sound like much, but teaching also requires almost double the prep time or your classes become incoherent disasters, so it's more like twenty-eight hours a week, on top of which, I am now working in the International Affairs department (basically as a gofer) and I still have my radio gig. So all in all, I'm pretty busy. Taking a breather right now from outlining a new course (English for Engineers - what the heck do I know about engineering?) and looking over Supernatural spoilers. Don't get me started. People are up in arms over it. Love is a funny thing. When you're happy, you're blissed out like there's no tomorrow. But let something flick at the periphery of your love and BAM! You're off like a rabid animal. Funny, isn't it?
Final thought: Is it Tuesday night yet?
Another random Q&A
Hmmm, I don't remember who I cribbed this from anymore, but it's all in good fun. Yet more random questions as answered by me.
What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Well, that'd be my dad's car, and the answer would be my sweater and a pillow.
What did you dream about last night?
It was a Tuesday night - Supernatural. Brief glimpses of Sam and Dean, but nothing coherent.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water, perennial fave.
What are you wearing right now?
Pink sleeveless top, red cardigan and black skirt.
Last food you ate?
This bread thing. Can't explain it more than that.
Have you ever left the country?
Yup.
What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Geez...ice skating on ESPN.
What makes you nervous?
Loss of control, most definitely.
Do you like sushi?
Sometimes.
Do you have a tan?
All Thais are tan to an extent.
What’s one thing you want but can't have right now?
A Sloppy Joe. Seriously.
What are your siblings' middle names?
We don't have any.
Where is your mom right now?
At home.
What was the last thing you said?
"Bye, Mommy, I love you."
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Oh, is this racist? "Throw another shrimp on the barbie."
Do you like watching a bonfire?
Probably.
Are you allergic to anything?
Dust, damp weather, fur, crab...the list goes on and on. I'm walking hypersensitivity.
Favorite piece of clothing you wear all the time?
None.
What is one thing you've learned about life recently?
It's better to stay quiet.
Have you ever had a Latin lover?
Nope.
When the phone rings, who do you want it to be?
Someone I want to talk to!
Do you take compliments well?
Not really.
Do you play Sudoku?
SNORE!
If you were abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Doubtful. Can barely survive in the urban jungle of Bangkok.
What did your last text message say?
"Ok ja."
Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Pursued. I am soooooo lazy.
Three words to describe yourself?
Angry, antagonistic and always ready to f*ck you up. LOL, but I can be very loyal too.
Do any songs make you cry?
Yeah, Butterfly Kisses really gets to me.
Do you know how to shoot a gun?
No, but I can handle a shiv like nobody's business. Just kidding. But not really.
How often do you read books?
All the freakin' time.
Favorite children's book?
Oooh, a tough one. Probably The Rainbow Circus Comes to Town - my dad taught me how to read with it.
When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Never, they don't have any here.
Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Work.
Do you like mustard?
Bring it on!
Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
It's a tie.
What movie do you want to see right now?
Hmmm, not sure.
Who did you last IM?
Haven't IM'd for a long while. Too busy.
Was your mom a cheerleader?
Well, she cheers me on, if that's what you mean. But no, she never did cartwheels or handstands or whatnot.
How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Too few.
Do you wear your seatbelt?
More or less.
What do you wear to sleep?
A big tent-like nightgown my friends say makes me look like a granny.
Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
One word - coup!
Is your tongue pierced?
Gross, and double gross.
Ever been to L.A.?
Uh-huh.
Do you hate chocolate?
Right, and pigs can fly.
What do you and your parents fight about the most?
My attitude.
Are you a gullible person?
Sometimes. Although I'd say I'm more naive.
Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Heck no.
If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Archaelogist. I love me the history.
Are you easy to get along with?
Double heck no. I suspect people think I'm anti-social and here's the deal - I am.
What is your favorite time of day?
Late evening.
Final thought: Random = fun.
Mine
I'm not a jealous person by nature; I think I'm a bit possessive, though. What's mine is mine and hands off, please. Even as a kid, my mom was always telling me to share, share, Anna, please share! I was a bit of a selfish little girl, but I outgrew it. Never outgrew the borderline obsessive tendency to cling fiercely to what is mine, however. Maybe in a past life I had things taken away from me, so in this life, that's why I fixate on materials. Course, it's not just stuff - I get the same way about people. It's not right or correct or proper, and I know if I was on the receiving end, I might start to feel a bit suffocated - but I can't seem to help myself. I don't think I'm overly selfish anymore. I try give whatever I am able to give, to those less fortunate. I don't believe in not helping people study for exams (I knew a guy who would pretend he didn't know what was going on in class so he could weasel out of tutoring other people and then proceed to ace every exam. Jerk) and I'm always ready to lend a hand if I'm able to, to whatever legal shenanigan people ask me to participate in. Yet, I get so attached to people sometimes...it's very dangerous. To feel that connected to another person and not have your feelings reciprocated is very, very perilous to your health. You start to act crazy. You start to sound demanding and a little demented. You start needing to be reassured all the time. Now, it may sound nuts to talk about being possession of other people, but what I mean is - I just need to know where I stand with people. How important am I to you? Where do I rank in relation to other people? Yeah, it's kooky, I know, but I always have lists in mind. And possession is nine-tenths of the law, don't forget. What I'm trying to say, I guess, is I have bundles of issues. I think it might be linked to some dark aspects of my psyche, but too tired to contemplate those for now.
Final thought: Share!
100
The "100 things about me" appears to be a fixture on blogs, so I thought I might as well do one, seeing how I love lists anyhow. As if I don't reveal enough about myself already, hahaha.
100 Things About Me
1. I do not have a middle name. Pretty common for Thais.
2. My fave drink is water and my fave ice cream flavor is vanilla. Sometimes, I'm just drowning in averageness.
3. I would gladly sacrifice a kidney for any member of my family.
4. Okay, I admit it - I watched the pilot episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I was just old enough.
5. Nooks and crannies fascinate me. God knows why.
6. I only have like five good pictures of myself (rest are a bust).
7. Kids called me Anna Banana when I was little. Now you know: I didn't go to a school for the gifted.
8. I love the word defenestrate.
9. Least favorite food has got to be liver.
10. I can think myself into vomiting. Yes, that's as gross as it sounds.
11. Still have trouble with analog time displays.
12. My favorite salad dressing is blue cheese. My grandmother thinks it smells like rotten coconut milk.
13. I will most likely die an X-Phile.
14. I couldn't leave the house without tissue. I just couldn't.
15. So, fine, I read the first Harry Potter book, but I have no idea what all the fuss is about.
16. I once laughed at a guy for breaking his foot. But he deserved it, coz you know how he did it? He put these heavy dumbbells on top of a cabinet and forgot they were there and they rolled off and smashed one of his feet. It's funny.
17. Red pens are the best! What's all this new-agey stuff about calming kids down with purple? Sissy markers!
18. I own every single Sidney Sheldon novel ever written.
19. I find it hard to make small talk.
20. My brother's nickname for me is "Chunky"; I call him "Monkey".
21. Fried chicken is the reason why I will never be a vegetarian.
22. As a kid, I used to like to the dance to the I Dream of Jeannie theme. Seriously.
23. I like being first to do a presentation. Lets me set the bar as low as I want.
24. One time, I picked up a shell from the beach and brought it home. The next day, I discovered a teeny-tiny crab was living in it. I've always felt guilty for that, and still feel bad when people buy me shell-related products.
25. I hate it when people confuse lose and loose.
26. My dad taught me how to read in both Thai and English. I'll always be grateful to him for that.
27. The only CSI I watch is CSI: New York.
28. I love it super-dark when I sleep.
29. Have never smoked or tried drugs, and don't plan to.
30. I have hands and feet that are almost identical to my mom's.
31. Can barely walk in high heels. Stilettos? Forget about it.
32. I'm pro-choice, pro-birth control and pro-same-sex marriage. They're all personal rights, in my opinion.
33. Not that crazy about sushi.
34. Yeah, I suck up to my boss. But I like to think I do it subtly.
35. Of the Greek gods and goddesses, Artemis is my favorite. She's just cool.
36. Completely uncreative with my confirmation name - just used Anna.
37. Get extreme motion sickness on all matter of transport.
38. I don't get lost easily in relatively well-defined spaces, like malls or parking lots. Nature boggles me, though.
39. I love lingerie. Totally.
40. I cry more easily than I'd wish.
41. I just can't resist going into stationery shops. That stuff is great.
42. If you can personalize it, I will.
43. The Lonely Goatherd is my favorite song of all the Sound of Music tunes.
44. I like using keyboard shortcuts on the computer.
45. I can't not multi-task. I know, I know, it makes you less efficient. I'm working on it...along with a word search and replies to a bunch of emails.
46. Confession: I've made personal calls on my office phone.
47. I know what slash means in the context of fanfiction.
48. Have lived through a coup. It wasn't bloody and we had a national holiday the next day.
49. I love green tea, but it's gotta be sweetened.
50. Wrote X-Files fanfiction for a time. Loved it.
51. I think I might be a candidate for anger management.
52. I'd wear all-black all the time if my mom would let me.
53. I hate math with a vengeance. Geometry the most. Probability comes a close second.
54. Yes, I have a blacklist of people who've crossed me.
55. Have contemplated giving my future kids off-the-wall names ala celebrities. For a girl - Prism. For a boy - City. And twins? River and Rain. Yes, I'm probably better off not having offspring.
56. I was born in April, the cruelest month, and boy, am I.
57. Can only do the standard hair braid and it kills me.
58. Am a total media baby. Couldn't go a day without watching TV or cruising the internet, or both. Just couldn't.
59. I will seriously save a document every two minutes. I'm paranoid that way.
60. I like lots of butter on my popcorn.
61. Candyshop, by 50 Cent. Smack That, Akon. Beep, Pussycat Dolls. Love them. There, I said it, don't hate me!
62. I have no qualms about angling my fork into other people's food, if I'm close to them.
63. Ants really tick me off.
64. Got tons of gold stars as a kid. Uh huh, I was a goody-two-shoes.
65. I've been known to the read the labels on things when I'm without proper reading material.
66. I let my students be ten minutes late.
67. I had caviar once and to tell you the truth, it didn't do anything for me.
68. Being late panics me.
69. Sneakers, I love my sneakers!
70. I have the hardest time remembering people. It's not that I don't care, but if someone doesn't make some sort of impression, they just disappear from my mind. I've had people come up to me and say they've been in so-and-so class with me or met me somewhere, and I will just blank. It's horrible, but true.
71. Can't stand to have the Num Lock on.
72. Making lists really floats my boat.
73. I liked the B story of Wedding Crashers (you know, the crazy redhead and Vince Vaughn) more than the A story (that totally bogus romance between Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson). I like romance to have a little color.
74. Loved the Captain Planet cartoon as a kid. Always got a kick out of them doing the whole "Let our powers combine!" bit.
75. I transported over thirty kilograms of books from the States to Thailand all by myself with only two pieces of luggage and a backpack.
76. I like fortune cookies.
77. I can't crack my knuckles. Scares the tar out of me.
78. Silver jewelry is more my style than gold. But I wouldn't say no to the latter.
79. It's corny, but my parents are my role models. I'd like to be just like them someday.
80. Yes, it's true, part of the reason I love Supernatural is because Dean and Sam are super-hot. Sue me.
81. Misplaced the key to my diary once and picked the lock with a bobby pin. Made me feel like a freakin' spy.
82. Have a sneaking suspicion I work much too closely with white-out, but it's an occupational hazard.
83. I would not mind having a pet name.
84. Have not watched any of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Will never.
85. My favorite send-off is "Have fun!"
86. I won my high school's poetry competition one year with a piece I literally dashed off in one minute. I didn't even make a copy of my winning work, a decision I rue to this day.
87. I know the periodic table of elements up to the ninth element - oxygen.
89. Water rings on tables drive me nuts. Use a coaster, please.
90. I have the Barbie and Ken as Mulder and Scully gift set and I'm proud of it.
91. I actually stopped and reread some sentences a few dozen times in Yukio Mishima's Confessions of a Mask because the prose was so breathtaking.
92. I don't think I can ever kick my nail-biting habit.
93. Yes, I read my horoscope.
94. I was punched once as a kid. Right in the face.
95. When I go clubbing, I'm the girl who has to explain to the bartender how to make a virgin Cosmoplitan.
96. I'll read random articles on Wikipedia for fun.
97. I hate the picture of myself on my citizen ID. I look like I just rolled out of bed.
98. I love my backpack. It's a green Jansport with about three different compartments and I will break down and cry when it goes out of commission.
99. Unlike a lot of kids, I didn't want to grow up. I loved being babied.
100. This was fun, but then again a) I love lists and b) I'm more than a little weird.
Final thought: I'm an open book.
Okay, fine, Orlando Bloom is a hottie
It was a Buddhist holiday yesterday and I had the day off. A bunch of my university friends wanted to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, so it was off to the theater for that. (Look away now if you don't want to be spoiled.) Right off, I have to say, I only vaguely like the Pirates franchise. Pirates don't really rock my boat, pardon the pun, but I thought the first one was a pretty good cinematic fluff, and I like watching stuff that doesn't give my brain cramps. The second one really sealed the deal for me. It was a rip-roaring, silly movie and I had a good time at it. The third time out though...eh. Convuluted plot. Weird tangents. And the swishiness that once made Jack Sparrow appealing? Lost some of its luster. And why the heck is Elizabeth Swann so darn important? They made her a captain and the freakin' pirate king (yeah, it's absurd, but let's run with it). Plus, almost every single guy was pawing at her. The movie was thisclose to being one of those dime store paperback bodice-rippers. Thisclose. However, forget all that, because - Orlando Bloom was smokin' hot! I admit, I didn't think he was much from the first film. He didn't come off as too different from that wimpy elf (gnome? what-ef) he played in Lord of the Borings - and that platinum-haired dork was a pansy. I hate pansies. I remember Junie citing him as an example of a cute guy and I remember saying, totally shocked, "Really?" Second time out, in Dead's Man Chest - hello! Geez, the guy's looks grew exponentially. Third time was the charm. Orlando Bloom, I'm happy you proved me wrong. You're no pansy. You're super-hot. I was aghast at how delicious he looked as the captain of the Flying Dutchman, even though, technically, he was dead and his heart was no longer a part of his body. But he looked fantastic. Good for you, Orlie! So, I better tell Junie I take back my incredulous "Really?" Course, he's nothing compared to Dean Winchester, but still, a girl can look. It was so funny, coz I kept gushing so much later at dinner, my friends were like, "Why don't you just marry the guy?" So I guess I was a bit over-eager, but he's hot! Hahaha.
Final thought: Go for Orlando Bloom's half-open shirt. Seriously.