Soulmates are for sissies...
When I went up to the northern province of Chiang Mai for the Christmas break, we decided to have some fun and go to a fortune teller. Most Thais are very superstitious and nine people out of ten have been to at least one fortune teller in their life. It's pretty much a Thai rite of passage. I've been to a couple, none of whom agreed with each other or impressed me. As a Thai person, I do have some beliefs that are way out there, but as an educated young woman, I happen to believe that fortune tellers are nothing more than amateur psychologists. They're just good at interpreting body language and other clues. Anyhow, we get to this fortune teller and he enters all of our relevant information (birthdate, birthplace, gender etc.) into - get this - a computer. Seriously. So I'm sitting there like, "Give me a break." Then he turns to me and the first thing he says is, "You shouldn't be so concerned with finding a soulmate. You don't have one." Now, this wouldn't be earth-shattering if not for the fact that for about two weeks before this, I'd been thinking the exact same thing to myself. Thinking perhaps is not the right word; I'd been feeling it. You know how some people tell you when they met the one they felt like (pardon the cliche), they'd found their other half? Well, all my life I've been keeping an eye peeled for my other half and I really, truly believed that he was out there, somewhere, and he'd find me at the appropriate time. Sappy? Yeah, I suppose. But more and more, I'm starting to realize that maybe that's not the path for me. Maybe I'm already complete or maybe another person is not what's going to fulfill me, something else is (the fortune teller said my strengths lie in academic ventures, or something along those lines). Weird as this may seem, I felt calmer, more free. Strange...story of my life.
Final thought: Down with love! :twisted:
Truth and Consequences
It rained yesterday and it's freaking hot today. Such is the way of the world. I have absolutely nothing to say, yet, (ha ha) I am saying something anyhow. It has recently popped into my mind that I am a boring person. No, seriously, before you start in on the "no, you're not that bad", I've been giving it a lot of thought, seeing as how my life now revolves around painting walls bluebell white and selling soda and ice to thirsty Rangsit U nursing students - leaves a lot of time for self-contemplation. I think the saddest part is that no one has thought to inform me of this because, I believe, two reasons: a) they're afraid of hurting my feelings and b) they're afraid of me hurting something other than their feelings. Honesty's a bitch. On the one hand, you want people to tell you the truth, but can you handle it? And same goes for others - they want the truth, but can they handle it? I have recently become acquainted (re-acquainted? Don't know really) with someone who believes in telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He is blunt to the point of rudeness. I didn't know if I could handle this at first, but really, most of the time, it's kinda nice. Just a thought...I think everyone can use a dollop of reality now and then. So here's my reality: I'm boring and I revel in it.
Final thought: I still believe in little white lies. :P
Happy Thai New Year!
Today's Songkran, the Thai new year. The streets are full of people covered with talc, splashing water over each other, as is the custom. April is definitely the hottest month of the Thai year. Yesterday, I swore I saw my arm cooking! Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but not by much. Life is getting "curiouser and curiouser" and it's mainly due to the people in my life and well...Can't write anymore...too hot!
Final thought: Happy Thai New Year! :D
What the #@$%^ is going on?
My thought for today is: Why can't life get simpler? It was my birthday two days ago and I am now officially one year older and still, nothing makes sense. I mean, there are some people out there with so much free time, they actually sit down and make anti websites - you know what I mean, those anti-Hanson, anti-meat, anti-Tru Calling sites that you see all over the net. Well, if these people are so darn free, why don't they go down and dedicate their time to something like, I don't know, the orphanage I went to on my birthday? Those kids could definitely give them something to do. I don't know, nothing is adding up lately - call it my sorta-graduated mucked-up phase. It seems to me that the more the years pile on, the more conundrums are thrown my way. I don't like it. Call me a whiner, but I just wish that for once, things would be crystal clear, totally unambigous, easy enough for an inattentive two-year-old to grasp. Life, I mean; I wish life were as easy to figure out as...well, just wish it were easy. I wish just for once that life would stop throwing me curveballs. Sorry for this incoherent rant, but my life has been careering all over the place lately and I have motion sickness.
Final thought: Stop the world, I wanna get off. :roll:
Poetry in Motion
I love that song Someday We'll Know, originally of the New Radicals and covered (excellently, I thought) by Mandy Moore and Jonathan Feldman. It's so poetic - by this, I don't just mean the words are beautiful, but that it strikes a cord with me, which I've always felt the best poetry does. So many people I know don't like poetry - don't like reading it, would never write it. This is a shame and a tragedy on the scale of never having learned to read at all. Truth is poetry. Love is poetry. Life is poetry. The best poets knew this, embraced this, and tried to share this wonder with readers in their work. But I think a lot of poetry haters don't seem to know this: songs are just poetry set to words, which is why I started off this blog by talking about one of my favorite songs. So everytime you appreciate a good song, you're really just appreciating a poem. You're seeing bits and pieces of your own life, yourself, in someone else's words and you're connected to that person in a unique way, crossing continents and time. So a line written by someone else, that may have a personal meaning to him/her, like "Speeding by the place that I met you/For the ninety-seventh time" can have a deep personal meaning for me as well and in that instant, regardless, I have made contact with another person, I have shared a truth with a person who is physically absent. And that's nothing to sneer at. For a taste of the best, if you're not already a poetry aficionado, I suggest reading one poem from each of the following: Pablo Neruda, Christina Rosetti, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, e.e. cummings, Betsy Gould Hearne, Shel Silverstein and of course, the immmortal bard, William Shakespeare. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I happen to love a number of peoms from these poets, and my tastes are pretty diverse. Enjoy!
Final thought: So many questions, I need an answer...
Naptime
Senior project is now complete! I could not have done it without the patience and kindess of my friend Marc, so I take this opportunity to thank him and tell him I love and appreciate him very much. I gotta go take a nap now. I will never leave things to the last minute anymore. Yesterday, I traipsed all over Bangkok...anyhow, it was hot and I'm tired and I will now go rest and will write a better blog next time. :)
Final thought: Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed...